Hypotheticals

Hypothetically speaking, of course, would it be the wrong thing to do if one was lying in bed just before the alarm went off, and did a ginormous fart loud enough to wake the 2 surrounding blocks, then pretended to be asleep? Even if one’s Boyfriend was hypothetically lying next to you in said bed, and is well known for his insomnia so has probably been awake for hours? Hypothetically, he didn’t mention it afterward so maybe he was hypothetically asleep anyway. And I may never eat that much cauliflower in one sitting ever again. Hypothetically, of course.

Also hypothetically, if I walked around all day yesterday with my fly open, surely someone could have thought to mention it to me.

Of course you know none of the above happened because girls don’t fart, and I would never wander around the office half clothed (except for the time the spider was down my shirt and I ripped my shirt off in the middle of the office, all while squealing like a banshee in case anyone hadn’t already been looking. That’s another story).

Tags: Just Not Right, Whoops