Archive for the ‘Whoops’ Category

Too Much Caffeine is Bad For You

October 15, 2010

Yesterday I splurged and got myself a weak flat white. Apparently the universe was trying to tell me to cut out the caffeine, because it did not end well.

I sat at my desk, and put the take away coffee up to my mouth. The lid was not on the cup properly. I poured the entire cup of coffee all down my once crisp white shirt.

I raced to the bathroom, took the shirt off and rinsed it under the tap to get as much coffee out as I could. Then I realised we don’t have hand dryers in the bathrooms, they are stocked with paper towels. Fantastic, now I was in a wet, see through white shirt.

I ended up running down to the gym change rooms (yes, work has a gym. no, I have never used it.) and drying my shirt with a hair-dryer. I wandered around for the rest of the day being followed by the faint aroma of coffee.


How to Stop Traffic

May 5, 2010

On Monday I went to a funeral. Feeling somewhat gloomy on my return home, I decided to head up to The Local, where there was bound to be a few laughs to be had.

I kicked off my dress and heels, shrugging into a soft old t shirt and the jeans I’d been wearing the day before. This has been a breakthrough for me – I hate to wear dirty clothes, and it has taken me years to accept that sometimes you CAN wear jeans more than once before they really need a wash.

As I crossed the busy main road that runs between my house and the path to the pub, I felt something in my jeans. Fearing the worst (spider? snake?) I had to keep walking or I would have been bowled over by a truck, but as I walked across the road I gave my leg a violent shake. Now I don’t mind wearing yesterdays jeans, but when yesterdays undies came flying out the bottom of my jeans leg, I did the only thing I really could in this situation. I glanced around to check nobody had noticed, and kept right on strolling across the street.

I didn’t really stop to take too much in (note aforementioned truck barrelling towards me at high speed) but gee I hope they weren’t my good undies.


April 27, 2010

An extra long weekend is just over (I had Friday off work and Monday was a public holiday for ANZAC Day here), and it’s one that has taught me some valuable lessons.

I went to a 40th birthday party on Saturday evening. The hosts of the party had a bit of a problem – their fridge stopped working the morning of the party. As the venue was only 3 blocks from my house, I offered to stash the leftovers after dinner at my house, and bring them back the next day for any stragglers to have for lunch. An excellent idea, no?

The not so excellent idea, was to give the girlfriend who’d brought the food over a quick tour of the renovations I’ve been suffering through for the last few weeks. Clearly a few sheets under the wind, I opened up the door to the upstairs room, totally forgot there was no floorboards down, and stepped right out onto the ceiling of the room below. Whoops, add one more job to the growing list – repair the ceiling.

Don’t try this one at home, kids – I was VERY lucky I wasn’t hurt – if I’d fallen right through I definitely would have been. As it is, I just made a bit of a crack, about the size of my foot, which I am hoping can be patched without replacing any of the ceiling.¬† It could so easily have gone the other way.

You heard it here first – don’t drink and give house tours.

The Old Girl is Snoring

April 7, 2010

This morning I was having a lovely snooze on the train when I was woken up by an extremely loud snorty snore noise.This was no regular snore, it was a really loud snort. like what you’d imagine a young child to do if you asked them to imitate a pig. A loud pig.

I hope it didn’t wake too many other people up, because the noise actually happened to come from my own mouth. I lay there for the rest of the train trip pretending to still be asleep and oblivious, and got off the train at my stop rather rapidly, and with my head down.

Short Weekend

March 1, 2010

I don’t know who decided we should all have 2 days weekend to 5 days work. 2 just isn’t enough.

The Boyfriend and I went to see a band on Friday night – Thirsty Merc, at The Basement. Great night, if only they had not finished playing AFTER the last train home had left. A rather expensive cab ride home later, we managed to get ourselves into bed. We didn’t get out of bed again except to grab food until 4:30pm Saturday afternoon. Perhaps that’s why my weekend seemed so short. (Perhaps we might have gotten up earlier if we’d not had quite so many “lemonades”!) Actually being able to sleep in so long then laze around watching TV all day was fabulous, I should do it more often.

Sunday was uneventful – the house is now clean and the grocery shopping is done. We nipped out to the pub while a casserole slow cooked in the oven. I should have taken a photo before I threw it away – let’s just say I don’t think I’ll be believed next time I say “Nah, it’ll be FINE while we nip out to get a beer, it won’t burn at all!” Yep, it burned pretty well alright. I’m just so glad it didn’t catch fire.

Bad Timing

January 4, 2010

Well Christmas is done for another year. Thank goodness.

The new year was spent quietly here with half a dozen of us eating finger food in the back yard, swimming in the pool, and chatting. We were listening to a radio station and waiting for the countdown. Surely you’d expect a countdown at midnight? Nope. Once I realised the song they were playing was “New Years¬† Day” and checked my watch I had to break it to the group. “Uh… guys? It’s 2 minutes past 12…”

Let’s hope that is not a sign of the year to come!

Whoops are Not Always Fun

November 11, 2009

I’ve been struggling this week with a nasty cold I just cannot shake. Finally after another sleepless night I went off to the doctor. The verdict? Whooping Cough. I have been vaccinated – apparently the immunity commonly runs out in your early 30’s, and there have been many cases this year due to more and more people not vaccinating children. So while I have been doing whooping of sorts, it hasn’t been the fun type.

A friend from work called me today to ask me “Whooping Cough? Why can’t you just get a cold, like NORMAL people!”

We all know the answer – because I am not normal.

Only yesterday the big boss at work said to me “Are you sick AGAIN!” I felt like I was in trouble for having a bad cough. It was a lousy thing to make me feel – after all, I am clearly not putting it on. I also think that if he hadn’t given me such a hard time when I caught the flu back in in May I might have taken enough time off to actually recover properly – I feel like I have been run down ever since, catching every single thing that floats by. So really, it is his fault.

I am infectious till Monday and how SAD – I cannot go to the office the rest of the week. Boo hoo.

N.B. I am actually not feeling too much like death so no need to panic – only when I get the coughing fits, which can have breaks of up to a couple of hours between them (but which can last a few hours too).


July 31, 2009

Hypothetically speaking, of course, would it be the wrong thing to do if one was lying in bed just before the alarm went off, and did a ginormous fart loud enough to wake the 2 surrounding blocks, then pretended to be asleep? Even if one’s Boyfriend was hypothetically lying next to you in said bed, and is well known for his insomnia so has probably been awake for hours? Hypothetically, he didn’t mention it afterward so maybe he was hypothetically asleep anyway. And I may never eat that much cauliflower in one sitting ever again. Hypothetically, of course.

Also hypothetically, if I walked around all day yesterday with my fly open, surely someone could have thought to mention it to me.

Of course you know none of the above happened because girls don’t fart, and I would never wander around the office half clothed (except for the time the spider was down my shirt and I ripped my shirt off in the middle of the office, all while squealing like a banshee in case anyone hadn’t already been looking. That’s another story).

What Not to Wear

April 20, 2009

This morning I was sitting on the train on the dreary commute to work. I was just about to take off my coat, as it was rather stuffy in the train. Luckily I managed to stop myself just in time. If I hadn’t, the train full of people would also have just realised that I was wearing my shirt inside out. Instead, I stayed warm and giggled to myself all the way to work.

In other news, reading and posting from work is getting harder these days, big brother is watching. I can read through Google Reader, but can’t always click through to comment.