Archive for September, 2010

Pillow Talk

September 21, 2010

The other night the boyfriend shook me awake to tell me something important.Th conversation must have gone on for about 10 minutes. Here’s a summary of how it went.

BF: We do slapperdicktomies now!

Me: Wha?? what?

BF: Slapperdicktomies!

Me: What’s a slapperdicktomy?

BF: A penis transplant, silly! We can put one wherever guys want an extra one. Or if girls want to try it!

Me: *uncontrollable laughter*

BF: What?

Me: So how did this come about?

BF: Someone left one behind! How cool is that!

Cool’s not exactly the word I would have picked. He clearly belongs with me.

Nobody Expects the Spanish Inquisition!

September 14, 2010

This little vegemite also wasn’t expecting to be given a referral to the obstetrics outpatients clinic this morning.

(If I was expecting it I at least would have covered that type of thing on my bloody expensive – and useless – private health care, under which I deliberately cut out services related to my current “condition” as a covered item because I’ll never need that!)

Unexpected does not necessarily mean unwelcome – just very, very unplanned!

Now excuse me while I go and stare, shocked look on my face, out the window for a good while longer.

Meat Mayhem

September 10, 2010

The new local is clearly on a drive for new punters. Case in point: $2 steaks.

Well, $2 for the steak, $2 extra for the chips, actually, but a $4 steak and chips still sounds pretty good to me. The Boyfriend had a real splurge and went another $2 for salad. Wednesday nights may never be the same…

One Tequila, Two Tequila, Three Tequila, Floor

September 4, 2010

According to Ted’s Mum, nothing good ever happens after 2am. I beg to differ. Late last night I found myself drinking my friend’s invention of tequila and Red Bull. It sounds disgusting but tastes delicious! However, based on how chipper my household was this morning (not at all), I should really remember the next time I fnd myself drinking spirits that it is probably time to go home. Anyway, we were trying out a new local pub that’s just been renovated nearby – a few of us are tiring of The Local and some of the politics that go on there, so we’re thinking we might move en masse to this other pub. Good plan for me – it’s only a 2 block walk from my house as opposed to a 15 minute walk to the other one!

Just on 2:30 I found myself deep in conversation with one of my friends who is a total player. (He actually got chased by a guy with a golf club on our way to the pub last night after he stopped to lean inĀ  girl’s car window, said “Nice car” and tried to chat her up. Her boyfriend wasn’t such a fan of this approach. I laughed my head off to see him running towards our taxi being chased by a lunatic wielding a golf club.) This friend not only tries to be a ladies man, but also is one of those typical Aussie sterotypes – a tough tradie (he’s the one helping me renovate my house) who shows no emotion, he’s far too tough.

I find it pretty funny that after several too many lemonades my tough friend can be very affectionate. In fact he once cracked 2 of my ribs giving an over enthusiastic hug. So it was not a complete surprise when he looked at me suddenly with a look of comple surprise and said “You know, I really love you. And I don’t even want to sleep with you! I’ve never had a platonic female friend, ever! It’s pretty cool.”

It is pretty cool.