How to Stop Traffic

On Monday I went to a funeral. Feeling somewhat gloomy on my return home, I decided to head up to The Local, where there was bound to be a few laughs to be had.

I kicked off my dress and heels, shrugging into a soft old t shirt and the jeans I’d been wearing the day before. This has been a breakthrough for me – I hate to wear dirty clothes, and it has taken me years to accept that sometimes you CAN wear jeans more than once before they really need a wash.

As I crossed the busy main road that runs between my house and the path to the pub, I felt something in my jeans. Fearing the worst (spider? snake?) I had to keep walking or I would have been bowled over by a truck, but as I walked across the road I gave my leg a violent shake. Now I don’t mind wearing yesterdays jeans, but when yesterdays undies came flying out the bottom of my jeans leg, I did the only thing I really could in this situation. I glanced around to check nobody had noticed, and kept right on strolling across the street.

I didn’t really stop to take too much in (note aforementioned truck barrelling towards me at high speed) but gee I hope they weren’t my good undies.

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15 Responses to “How to Stop Traffic”

  1. mark Says:

    Stop traffic or cause a pile up!? You should have stopped, picked them up and tossed them at the truck roaring past. Next time.

    • 12ontheinside Says:

      It’s easy to think of better reactions in hindsight. Instead, I just instinctively checked I was actually still wearing any, just in case I’d just put my clean ones on incorrectly and they fell out my leg. Yes, I do realise that makes absolutely no sense whatsoever.

  2. Jennifer Says:

    That is so funny. I’ve had that happen before while dressing, but never gotten all the way out the door with dangling underpants. Though… as a brand new nursing mother, I did once drop my bra in the entrance of a restaurant. It stayed there for about 15 minutes until I walked passed again, realized it was mine and had to retrieve it in front of two hostesses.

    • 12ontheinside Says:

      Yikes, that’s almost worse. At least nobody saw me – for I doubt that a speeding truck or car would have noticed what was going on! Out of all the people who could top me I never ever would have suspected you. I am, however, absolutely kacking myself at the thought. 🙂

  3. Frank Says:

    Wouldn’t be the first time that’s happened to me. Once in college, I had a pair of the previous day’s boxers fall out of my pant-leg when I walked to class once. Luckily (I think) no one noticed…

    • 12ontheinside Says:

      Oh, I think nobody noticed my display either. But of course, then I told all my friends about it, and posted it on the internet. I’m smart like that.

  4. Pamela Says:

    I’ve found undies in my jeans — but never in public.
    usually I find socks. And usually right after I threw the other one away because I hadn’t been able to find the mate.

    (Some clothes I don’t wear very often.)

    • 12ontheinside Says:

      I thought socks were always stolen by the sock monster in the washing machine. Hadn’t thought to look in my jeans! 🙂

  5. radioactive tori Says:

    This is hysterical. And it reminds me of one time years ago when my husband came home from work and told me a pair of our daughter’s underwear fell out of his pant leg. Apparently when I washed them, they got stuck together and no one noticed. I guess static held them in place most of the day until it didn’t and they fell out. I asked him what he did and he said he left them where they fell and never said anything. If it had been me I would have been laughing and telling everyone in sight what had happened!

    • 12ontheinside Says:

      Ahaha! That’s even worse – for a man to have female undies fall out of his pants leg – no wonder he left his there too!

  6. melinda woda Says:

    Last year my sister walked into halfway thorough our gym with her daughter’s thong clinging to the back of her workout leggings. Some kind woman intercepted her to point out the issue but we have been laughing ever since.

  7. catrinam Says:

    You are hilarious…I think I had a dream that this happened to me once!

  8. regan Says:

    this is TOO stinkin’ funny.
    i have done that on occasion….
    maybe not out of the house, but close to it.
    btw. i visit you every once in a while from jenn/cozy as spring/and your sense of humor always cracks me up!

    • 12ontheinside Says:

      Hi Regan. I’ve had close calls before too – Mum would be so proud to know I actually did it this time! (Mum is never hearing this story!) 🙂

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