Cruisin – Days 5 & 6

Copy paste again from holiday emails – otherwise I’d only be whining about the fact that A) I am back at work – ERK!! and B) I got through a WHOLE CRUISE without getting burnt only to get sunburned yesterday putting up a little pool in the back yard. I remembered to put a big market umbrella up once it was all set up, for shade, but during the set up (which took hours and 3 adult helpers to get right) I might have forgotten that the sun could burn me then too.

Day 5 – Cairns

The first thing I noticed this morning on awaking is that banana boat rides on Daydream Island actually use muscles. Specifically the right butt and thigh muscles, and the left arm muscles. Luckily my right arm seems to be coping ok with the weight lifting exercises I have done this afternoon. I think it’s important to stay in shape on the cruise, and pints full of beer seem to be just the right weight to keep my right arm in shape.

I must ask myself today why on earth I decided a 7 1/2 km cable car ride over the rainforest between Cairns and Kuranda was a good idea, given my deathly fear of heights. I stopped shaking long enough to look around Kuranda (pretty little tourist trap type town) and then spent the afternoon checking out Cairns.

Lots of girls don’t seem to wear much in Cairns. We popped in to a hotel for a quick cider and were served by a young bargirl wearing the teeniest denim shorts and a skimpy black singlet top. “So what?”, you might think. Well, she was also about 15 months pregnant. I also tried to buy a new pair of board shorts in several surf shops. Finally, at the 4th shop I asked for help from the shop assistant. “What board shorts do you have for fat oldies? I don’t think anyone really needs to see my butt crack” (even though it (my butt) seems to have been a recurring theme here). He showed me to a rack all of about 5cm long with a selection of hardly anything before umming and ahhing and telling me they really don’t cater for ‘that type’ of market.

Cairns also appears to be at least half full of absolute yobbos. No, this did not make me feel at home, it made me feel rather un-yobbish. It may have been the lady (?) unbuttoning her pants in the main street. Then she cackled and said to her companions “ha, tricked yez all, I got me swimmers on under these”. Oh, that made it perfectly understandable. For sure. Then she spat in the street, and I was even more charmed. I found out later that despite its looks, the pretty beer garden we had stopped in at that point was THE worst bar in town. Phew, I’d hate to think there would be worse!

Tonight we depart Cairns and head off to Port Douglas. The evening challenge I have set for tonight is to get half the ship calling my pleasant dining mate, Charles, “Charles in Charge” after that dreadful 80’s sitcom. It really does suit him, after all.

Day 6 – Port Douglas

Nobody called Charles “in charge” but someone did ask me if I got stuck eating with “that arsehole” again so I decided my intervention was not required – he was making a big enough effort on his own.
The day has just begun – we’ll send this off now and see where the day takes us… I’m voting for Mosmon Gorge and a cruise up the Daintree River. The Boyfriend is tempted by hiring a mini moke but I did promise my mum I’d come home in one piece and NOT in a paper bag, so I’m not keen on the idea. More on Day 6 next message!

Tags: Holidays