Undies are Evil

On the weekend, I went to a wedding. Since it’s important for all women to be uncomfortable at these events, I wore a dress and strappy high heels.

A few days before the wedding I tried on the dress I planned to wear and asked The Boyfriend if it looked ok. He looked me over and said “You know what comes to mind when I see you in that dress?” I waited eagerly for his next statement. “A schoolma’am”.

So I wore a different dress. And, because I wasn’t a fan of the belly bulge that was a little too obvious under that dress, I bought a pair of old lady fat-holder-inner undergarments to wear underneath. I was talking to a girlfriend before I left, and told her I wasn’t sure how much fat they could be holding in, and perhaps I bought a size too big, because they felt too comfortable. We even joked about perhaps I had no fat to hold in. Oh I should never have mocked the fat-holder-inner-undergarments.

The wedding started at 1:30. By 1:22, I was texting the same friend with “Wedding has not yet started and I am already starting to rethink the fat holder inner undies and wondering if I can take them off in the loo”. Yeah, those things are evil, man.

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5 Responses to “Undies are Evil”

  1. sashimi Says:

    oh my! ..like one of those corset things? ouch!

  2. Brett Says:

    Great post do they make those things for beer bellies?

  3. Bobbie Leigh Says:

    I hate both dresses and big underwear. Both are evil.

  4. Frank Says:

    I hate undergarments on ladies, period! Giggity giggity!

  5. 12ontheinside Says:

    sashimi: more like a large spanx. Still ouch.
    Brett: What do you think I was using it for? Duh! 🙂
    Bobbie: Yes, we should all get around in no dresses OR undies.
    Frank: See above, that should work.

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