How to Get a Seat on a Peak Hour Train

I’m always having trouble getting a seat on the train. They’re just too crowded, and I usually end up shuffling and swaying to the city on my commute while almost falling into the laps of strangers. Hey, it’s a great way to meet people.

Today I saw the light. Here’s how to get your own seat.

  1. Smell like poo
  2. Wear several layers of vomit covered clothing
  3. swear loudly at the person accompanying you, telling them not to give you backhanders. Oh, did I mention the person you’re yelling at is also invisible.

Soon enough, you’ll not only have a seat to yourself, but the surrounding seats will also be vacant. Much like this fellow, in a bad camera-phone shot I’ve entitled “Scenes from this morning’s commute”.


In an unrelated aside, please continue to send all thoughts you can spare to the victims of the Victorian bushfires and their friends and families.


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8 Responses to “How to Get a Seat on a Peak Hour Train”

  1. WT Says:

    Ha ha ha ha! That guy used to catch the train from Gosford sometimes!

  2. 12ontheinside Says:

    Ha ha, WT.

  3. Bobbie Leigh Says:

    You just described every frat boy I ever met. :o)

  4. travelling, but not in love Says:

    he sound slike a keeper tha one. Sit next to him. get chatting. Swap numbers. Sounds like he’d be a fun date.

    The train I get to work is also horribly busy – we now have people on the platform to push us on board, à la Tokyo subway. But every day I get a seat. I find being ruthless and pushy helps!

  5. Pamela Says:

    so are you going to do it now for a seat?

  6. 12ontheinside Says:

    Bobbie: Ha! Never thought of that.
    tbnil: Pushers? Wow. I have seen videos of them in Japan. Seriously, that is f’d up.
    Pamela: Ohhhhh that is BRILLIANT! I’m just not sure how the bosses would feel about my attire when I got to work….

  7. Frank Says:

    You could always wet your pants and carry around an armful of garbage…from my experience that always seems to work well.

  8. 12ontheinside Says:

    Frank: I’ll keep that in mind.

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