Air Heads

As I stood on the packed train this morning, lamenting the lack of seats for my weary body (weary after playing a good hour of tennis last night – part 1 in my attempt to lose the silly season’s excesses, which seem to have settled around my middle), I gazed into space and soon found myself listening in to the conversation taking place beside me. The three middle aged ladies sitting near me seemed to have all the world’s problems sorted out, although I somehow doubted whether their ideas would work. Here’s a sample:

The train we were sitting on should have airbags, just in case it hit another train. On reflection, it appeared that cars don’t need any airbags at all, for if only those young people would stop talking on their mobile phones while driving there’d be no accidents. One bright spark had the brilliant idea that perhaps instead of airbags they could put in some kind of special telephone in every car that didn’t need a handset. One of the three old biddies tentatively suggested that there were hands free kits available and bluetooth technology, but was quickly scoffed at by the other two. Just as I was about to suggest to the lady being scoffed at that perhaps she was smarter than the rest, she had the brilliant idea of airbags on planes. Still being scoffed at, one said “Oh, but dear, if a plane falls from the sky you’d die anyway, why would an airbag help?” She explained that she didn’t mean an airbag for each seat, oh no. An airbag that opens underneath the plane, allowing it to gently float along the water or ground when it landed unexpectedly.

Brilliant. Just brilliant.

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5 Responses to “Air Heads”

  1. mark Says:

    Hands free? Bluetooth? Heresy! Witches! Get the duck and the scales!!

    Did they burn her right there in the train?

  2. Ben Says:

    It’s this sort of ‘can do’ attitude that makes little old ladies the universal institution that they are. Mad as privet hedges of course, but institutionally so.

  3. travelling, but not in love Says:

    I presume they were off to their jobs at the Australian Patent Office? Or maybe they were visiting politicians from Canberra?

    Either way, I’d vote for them. Not.

  4. Bobbie Leigh Says:

    And that’s why it is so fun to make fun of old people.
    “Damn kids- get off my lawn!”

  5. 12ontheinside Says:

    Yep, gotta love the old girls, eh.

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