Bragging is a Bad Idea

Never publish a post bragging about your superior luck, with many days off and free kegs of beer. For it will surely be your downfall. At least, I’m pretty sure that’s why I fell off the side of my shoe yesterday, landing awkwardly in the middle of the (thankfully quiet) road. A group of tradesmen were sitting nearby. I was certain one of them would come to help. But oh, no – they did a slow handclap instead. Nice fellas. I hope they all get a raging dose of crabs.

After picking myself up and getting into the car, I realised my foot hurt a bit. OK, more than a bit. I’m not sure what I’ve done, but it hurts like buggery even after icing it for hours last night and having it bandaged up. The bruise on my other leg covers most of my knee too. (How does that happen without ripping a hole in your pants?)

The best part about it has been explaining to people how I hurt my foot. So far, one person thinks I was swinging on a chandelier, one thinks I rescued a boy who had fallen down a well and was injured in the process, and another thinks I was helping the lion tamers at the circus and a lion took a bite out of my foot. Also on the bright side, it’s a great excuse to wear thongs* to work!

*The Aussie definition of thongs applies here. You might know them as flip flops. Here, those shoes are called thongs. I was walking past a pub one day with a visitor from the US and they noticed the sign in the window of the bar which said “Neat casual dress. No singlets. No thongs.” and they looked really puzzled before turning to me to ask “But how would they know?”

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8 Responses to “Bragging is a Bad Idea”

  1. EGE Says:

    Oh my god, I fall off the side of my shoe ALL THE TIME. Sometimes even when I’m wearing sneakers (runners, tennis shoes, whatever you upside-downers call them). But I’ve never hurt myself that badly doing it. Once I sprained my ankle. But that could have been the beer.

    Hope you feel better, and that you get to enjoy at least some of your free-beer-work-free-weekend!

  2. Jennifer Says:

    I’m so sorry, but this was really funny. I hope you feel better!

  3. Bobbie Leigh Says:

    Oh no, how embarassing! I’ve done that before in the parkinglot of a store. I just bought a glass ashtray, and my heel got stuck in a crack in the parking lot. Down I fell and out the ashtray flew. CRASH!! I don’t know which was worse- the embarassment of the fall or losing ten bucks.

  4. 12ontheinside Says:

    I’m running with it as a bit of a game. Although at the risk of TMI? Having an angry bottom and a bunged up foot really is the worst combination, ever!
    So far additional reasons for my injury include: “a bad parachute landing”, “I was dressed up in a Superwoman outfit with the cape and all on and had a bad landing off the top of the wardrobe (and should have known better really after the incident with the ceiling fan)”, “an elephant trod on my foot”, and even just a simple serious look with “I could tell you, but I’d have to kill you.
    Oh, and I did go to the doc’s who confirmed a hairline fracture, but not to worry it isn’t too bad, does not need a cast because there’s not much you can do with that tiny bone and it’s going to start coming good in a week or so.

  5. 12ontheinside Says:

    Also? Someone seriously just said “Wow, Really?” when I explained I was attacked by a group of ninjas. Sigh. How gullible are folks!

  6. mark Says:

    I’m impressed with your stories, and I grew up calling flip-flops things also. I don’t know who hijacked that term for underwear.

  7. 12ontheinside Says:

    Mark: Beats the hell out of me too!

  8. travelling, but not in love Says:

    Well done the builders. Nice to know that it’s still 1975 down under…

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