The Glass Is Half Full

Here I am, back from the beach, all well rested. Also very, very red and sunburned. I actually had to go to the chemist to pick up some anaesthetic spray for my back. It was either that, or just take off my shirt, and given that it’s an open plan office I really wasn’t sure how that would go down.

Somehow the talk soon turned from ‘worst sunburns I have ever had’ to ‘worst injury I have ever had’. My neighbouring colleague entertained us with the story about how she cut the ends off 2 fingers and badly cut the other 2 when trying to chop up chicken (that, ironically, she was planning on making into soup to give to her neighbour as a thank you for driving her to the hospital the week before when she had hurt herself the time before. She is a tad accident prone, this one).

As the conversation progressed, she mentioned that she still has absolutely no feeling in one finger. My instant reaction (and one which earned me quite a few rather horrified or disturbed looks from the rest of the office) was to say “How cool! If you used that finger when masturbating it’d feel like someone else was doing it!” The silence was deafening.

I really need to work on engaging my brain to mouth filter.

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10 Responses to “The Glass Is Half Full”

  1. mark Says:

    They were all thinking the same thing. If they weren’t, they were appreciating what a good idea you had and they wish they’d thought of it.

  2. Victor Says:

    I dunno, it made me laugh.

    Oh wait a minute, it was the mental picture of the reaction that made me laugh.

  3. travelling, but not in love Says:

    It’s totally what I would say and then I’d regret saying it. My colleagues reckon I have ‘meeting tourettes’ where I can’t help but say inappropriate things in meetings…..

    But when my boss claims that she ‘went down on him hard and mean’ to explain how she had ‘told someone off’, how am I supposed to NOT comment?

    I mean really.

  4. 12ontheinside Says:

    Mark: You’re right. When I told one of my friends about it, before I even got to what I’d said they had shouted the same thing out. I could possibly just be hanging around the wrong people.
    Victor: You’d think they would be used to it.
    TBNIL: Classic! I think I have drivers tourettes, when I get behind the wheel I start swearing like a trooper. I also now suspect I have meeting tourettes as well.

  5. Ms. R Says:

    OMG. Did you really say that at work? Props to you!

  6. 12ontheinside Says:

    Ms R: Till I get the sack, yeah! πŸ™‚

  7. Jennifer Says:

    Well I won’t be sticking this in my Google Reader “Shared Items” but I will laugh quietly to myself. πŸ™‚

  8. 12ontheinside Says:

    Jenn, I must admit I wondered if you’d laugh or gasp in shock and horror! πŸ™‚

  9. Jennifer Says:

    A little bit of both.

  10. WT Says:

    I sometimes use my left hand for that very reason!

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