Cruisin’ – Days 7 to 9

Day 7 and 8 – at sea

We spent these 2 days swanning around the bars and pools.

Day 7 was the cocktail challenge. I think we’ve had every cocktail on the menu. It’s a long menu. The bartender was very generous on the measures too, and being that I am not usually a spirit drinker the cocktail challenge may have been a bad idea. Especially given that it was another pool party that night and we were pickled enough to go to bed while that was still carrying on. The theme of the day was line dancing. If you’ve ever wondered what hundreds of drunk old people line dancing above your head sounds like, wonder no more. Not pretty! Like a thousand drunk hippos and elephants doing a private dance on your head. We popped up to the purser’s office and got an emergency spare cabin for the night. In hindsight the spare cabin’s location was a bad move – even if it was quiet, it was right at the bow of the ship, down low, and this was the choppiest night at sea so we were rocked about all night long. I am sure that’s why we both felt ill the next day, a touch of sea sickness and nothing to do with cocktail consumption the day before.

On day 8 we splurged on a couples massage, which took place in a room overlooking the view of the sea. Not too hard to take at all, even though we were still feeling slightly ill.

In the evening of day 7 I’d got chatting to a lady who was on a trip with her mum and siblings and her daughter. She was having such a terrible time she had decided to jump ship in Brisbane. I couldn’t believe it – I’d been lucky enough to meet some fantastic people and she just hadn’t met any. I gathered her up under my wing and introduced her to some of the fun crowd. I was so touched when she found me the next night to tell me I had saved her whole holiday for her. (Plus as a bonus had introduced her to a nice single guy we’d met who she talked to that night till 5am.) The Boyfriend had laughed at me a few days earlier and said I could (and did) talk to absolutely anyone even while underwater with my mouth full of marbles, but this just proved to me it never hurts to have a go talking to different people.

Day 9 – BrisVegas

Being nice obviously brings good karma. My rescued bird from a few days before found me to let me know she was actually from Brisbane, was still getting off but was in a much happier state, and would we like a ride anywhere. The ship had docked at a container yard a good 45 minutes out of town and the ship’s shuttle busses to town were a huge rip off, so we jumped at the chance. She drove us all the way to the carlton united brewery, where we were the sole people on a brewery tour so got a personalised tour. Followed, of course, by taste testing at the end! Great place to visit – a truly interesting and fun tour. Plus we’ll keep in touch with the lady we’d made friends with! We battled public transport back to the ship (no mean feat to work out, the brewery is half way to the gold coast) and headed to the pool for the rest of the afternoon where we have swam in the pool and chatted to various people we had met.

I just saw another lady get off at Brisbane who had decided to not do the last 2 days. She got off without her husband. He may not have noticed, as last time I saw him he was cracking on to some other chick right in front of his wife. I guess she’d had enough.

We’re about to cruise out of Brisbane and off for another day at sea before it’s home time when we get in to Sydney on Friday. I trust it’s been a rewarding week at work for you – we’ve had a blast.

Over and out

Cruisin – Day 6

Day 6 – Port Douglas

Mosman Gorge is called ‘gorge’ because it is just gorgeous. I could have stayed there all day long – a fantastic fresh water gorge with pools to swim in and small rapids to slip down. We swam for an hour and a half there before heading off to the Daintree River for a river cruise. I was expecting huge snappy crocodiles but was slightly disappointed to only see a small 1 metre croc and a baby at about 50cm. This was after much hunting for them, too. The Boyfriend did not let me take up my suggestion which was to try to draw some out, using the noisy 1 and 4 year olds also on our river cruise. I had to satisfy myself with poking my tongue out at them whenever their parents weren’t looking.

A quick look around Port Douglas for the afternoon answered my puzzlement about where fat oldies buy their swimmers – I found a fantastic fitting swimming top at a boutique and paid about a squillion dollars for it. I will have to wear that swimming top to work every day for the next year to get my money’s worth, but those are the sacrifices you make. (No, I won’t be wearing it on its own, I do actually have some slightly non butt cracky boardies that will do as the bottoms!)

Tonight one of the previously missing dinner companions has asked us to dine at the Charles in Charge location with them, as it is her birthday. I suspect she wants me there to deflect attention from her so she can have a good night. It is her birthday, and I can’t think of a nicer pressie I could give her. What a shame I didn’t think to pack valium in my toiletry bag.

After we ship out we spend 2 days at sea before docking in BrisVegas on Wednesday. Try not to work too hard while we’re at sea and I’ll have a cocktail by the pool for each of you. It’s a hard life, being a sailor.

Cheers all

Cruisin – Days 5 & 6

Copy paste again from holiday emails – otherwise I’d only be whining about the fact that A) I am back at work – ERK!! and B) I got through a WHOLE CRUISE without getting burnt only to get sunburned yesterday putting up a little pool in the back yard. I remembered to put a big market umbrella up once it was all set up, for shade, but during the set up (which took hours and 3 adult helpers to get right) I might have forgotten that the sun could burn me then too.

Day 5 – Cairns

The first thing I noticed this morning on awaking is that banana boat rides on Daydream Island actually use muscles. Specifically the right butt and thigh muscles, and the left arm muscles. Luckily my right arm seems to be coping ok with the weight lifting exercises I have done this afternoon. I think it’s important to stay in shape on the cruise, and pints full of beer seem to be just the right weight to keep my right arm in shape.

I must ask myself today why on earth I decided a 7 1/2 km cable car ride over the rainforest between Cairns and Kuranda was a good idea, given my deathly fear of heights. I stopped shaking long enough to look around Kuranda (pretty little tourist trap type town) and then spent the afternoon checking out Cairns.

Lots of girls don’t seem to wear much in Cairns. We popped in to a hotel for a quick cider and were served by a young bargirl wearing the teeniest denim shorts and a skimpy black singlet top. “So what?”, you might think. Well, she was also about 15 months pregnant. I also tried to buy a new pair of board shorts in several surf shops. Finally, at the 4th shop I asked for help from the shop assistant. “What board shorts do you have for fat oldies? I don’t think anyone really needs to see my butt crack” (even though it (my butt) seems to have been a recurring theme here). He showed me to a rack all of about 5cm long with a selection of hardly anything before umming and ahhing and telling me they really don’t cater for ‘that type’ of market.

Cairns also appears to be at least half full of absolute yobbos. No, this did not make me feel at home, it made me feel rather un-yobbish. It may have been the lady (?) unbuttoning her pants in the main street. Then she cackled and said to her companions “ha, tricked yez all, I got me swimmers on under these”. Oh, that made it perfectly understandable. For sure. Then she spat in the street, and I was even more charmed. I found out later that despite its looks, the pretty beer garden we had stopped in at that point was THE worst bar in town. Phew, I’d hate to think there would be worse!

Tonight we depart Cairns and head off to Port Douglas. The evening challenge I have set for tonight is to get half the ship calling my pleasant dining mate, Charles, “Charles in Charge” after that dreadful 80’s sitcom. It really does suit him, after all.

Day 6 – Port Douglas

Nobody called Charles “in charge” but someone did ask me if I got stuck eating with “that arsehole” again so I decided my intervention was not required – he was making a big enough effort on his own.
The day has just begun – we’ll send this off now and see where the day takes us… I’m voting for Mosmon Gorge and a cruise up the Daintree River. The Boyfriend is tempted by hiring a mini moke but I did promise my mum I’d come home in one piece and NOT in a paper bag, so I’m not keen on the idea. More on Day 6 next message!

Cruisin’ – Days 2 to 4

Today’s post is a copy/paste from my holiday emails during the last week’s holidays. After all, you surely do not want to hear about the mounds of washing I am doing post holidays.

Days 2 & 3 – At Sea (3-4 Dec)

Days at sea? I think I like them better than the port days. I have no idea where the time gets to but it’s a whirl of activity. I have played shuffleboard, gone in bellyflop contests, swam and sat in the spa for hours. The cruise director is called Julie, and is the captain’s daughter. Ok, she is not really but it’s been fun pretending she is. (Anyone who does not get that reference go watch some bad old tv right now.) I have eaten, drunk and been merry. Very merry indeed. I have also met some fantastic people, some of whom I had apparently already met (see day 1!).

Day 4 – Airlie Beach (5 Dec)

We were at Airlie not so long ago for a week, so we took a day trip to Daydream Island which is gorgeous. A banana boat ride and a swim up bar along with a few nice bushwalking trails – the best of all worlds!

Tonight I declared if I have to eat dinner with an absolute tosser called Charles that is assigned to my dinner table I will top myself. I suspect we will be dining in the alternative restaurant after today’s 2 hour lecture about just how I should change my life, what my passion is, and why I am wrong about everything in the world. Upon running into several others later in the evening who had been at my table earlier in the week, I have discovered their tolerance ran out a night or two ago, which explains the empty rest of the table. I was surprisingly well behaved and mostly smiled and nodded while desperately hoping he choked on his forkful.

An early night has been a waste of time as the party by the pool is going on just above my cabin. There seems to be a conga line going past as I type and I am searching the cabin for weapons to use to shut the people up who clearly have more stamina than I. Note to self: do not get a cabin directly under the pool again.

Tomorrow we hit Cairns and the half way point. Looking forward to it, never having been there before. Well good news, the party seems to have stopped so I need to catch up on my zzzzz’s!

Cruisin’

Just home from an 11 night cruise and exhausted – too much fun was had! The next few posts will be taken from the updates I emailed home while on the high seas.

Day 1- Tuesday (and leading up to it)

Remind me never to have a party on a Saturday before going away on holidays the following Tuesday. We were up till 2am Monday night finishing the clean up job and packing. I suppose a bad sign had been when the first person arrived for “recovery” before I was out of bed on Sunday morning. On Tuesday morning our first item was to call The Boyfriend’s dad to request an extra hour before he picked us up, since we planned to arrive early we’d left ourselves with time to do that.

I’d prepped for the holiday by having a manicure, pedicure and facial on Monday. The nail parts went well. I only ran into trouble when I went in for the facial. “Take off your top”, said the young chinese  attendant, who spoke almost no other english than those few words. “I’m here for a facial’ love, my face is up here!” I protested. Eventually I took off my top since she was not going to budge on this. Despite my misgivings it started feeling relaxing. Then just as I was drifting off she leaned in close to whisper to me “Am I doing it right for you?” I clenched my butt cheeks together and crossed my legs, feeling a bit concerned and trying not to crack any funnies about happy finishes. Then suddenly she turned off the lights. I tried to call her bluff by pretending this was all fine by me. But I could hear her creeping around the room and got ready for her attack. I wasn’t expecting it when it came though, and soon enough she was squeezing my poor pores within an inch of their lives. I got her back by making her scrub my feet.

Finally Tuesday rolled around and we headed in to town to board the Rhapsody of the Seas. We had contemplated sneaking booze on board but when they searched The Boyfriend’s bag for illicit alcohol we realised we’d made the right decision not to, even though I still think my genius idea of wrapping a bottle of bundy up and sticking a birthday card on it was a good one.

I did fulfil my self challenge that first day on board, and visited every bar on the ship, no easy feat. I must have done well, for the next day I had heaps of people saying hi like they were old friends, most of whom I had only the foggiest recollection of!

Snippets

On Friday I accidentally won another huge beef roast at The Local. I’m getting pretty good at making roast beef now, that’s for sure. Although I am getting a bit sick of roast beef sandwiches. This week’s roast was 2.5kg (5.5 pounds) and it was boneless so not any part of that weight was from a bone. Last week’s was even bigger. Luckily, I am not thinking of turning vegetarian any time soon.

The last 3 weeks have been rather boss-free at work, with him being on holidays. He’s back today. Something tells me I won’t be getting home early all week this week. Or coming in late. Gee the last 3 weeks were good though.

This financial year is the first year I am in charge of a budget at work. We are 1 month into the financial year and I have discovered already items that are regular charges that I did not budget for. This should be an interesting learning experience!

This is my little Ned. Ned likes to fall asleep while reading books. Ned was named after Ned Kelly the bushranger.

I booked a holiday in December. A cruise. It was a bargain price or I probably would have opted for something more exciting. I found out that someone from my work has booked the same cruise. Actually 2 people have – they both work at my work. I am friendly with them because I learned long ago to be nice to people at work, and they will remember that and help you out when you need it. If I didn’t have to be nice according to my rule I would say they are both wombats (waste of money, brains and time). Must spend next 4 months working out avoidance strategies and studying the layout of that ship.

Too Few and Too Many

The last two weekends have been a complete contrast. One was filled with nothing. The next was filled with people, some of whom I could have done without!

The weekend before last, The Boyfriend went to Melbourne for the weekend to watch an AFL game. I decided it was a good weekend to go and visit my girlfriend and her two kids. Unfortunately, I left my call until too late and when I called to arrange it, she already had plans. I made alternate plans to keep myself busy and they fell through as well. It was a pretty lonely weekend, and I was a bit at a loss for things to do and people to talk to. It was a long weekend, and it felt like a wasted one.

Last weekend, I went away for a few days with The Boyfriend. He brought a couple of mates with him, as the weekend was in celebration of The Boyfriend’s birthday. (It was a big one. I won’t give the number away, but it started with a 4 and ended with an 0. And no, he’s not 400 years old.) The contrast to our usual weekends away, with just the two of us, was remarkable.

One of the guys who came along for the trip loved the house (we stayed at my parent’s beach house) and he spent lots of time poking around, taking photos and exploring the nearby beach. Some of the poking around got a little hard to take, for example when he broke the garage roller door, but in general it was ok – in other words, he fixed it before we left. I’d take him away again, he was cheerful and pleasant to have around.

The other of Boyfriend’s friends? I actually would really like to slap him across the face. On the first day away, he went for a walk for an hour. 5 hours later we picked him up from a nearby pub after ringing to find out where he was. That night when we all went out for dinner at a nearby club, he didn’t eat, but walked away from the group to play pokies on his own. The next day, he was nowhere to be found when lunch was being served (he was later found sitting outside the front gate – what the?). Then after dinner that night, he just got up and went to bed – no goodnight. And in the two times I’ve seen him since the weekend? He’s insulted me and said I was rude on the weekend. That slap sounds pretty tough to resist. I can’t promise not to at least throw a drink on him if I run in to him over this next weekend.

Hunting’s Not Just for the Kids

Yesterday as The Boyfriend and I laid in bed, refusing to get up (which I am sure was in no way caused by an excess of alcohol consumption at the Hangi the night before), we talked about our plans for Easter. We’d already delayed the morning’s start by getting up earlier, making toasted sandwiches and coffee, and bringing them all back to bed on a tray while we watched a movie. (Revolutionary Road. Which if you ask me was depressing. Everyone ends up unhappy in the end.)

We’ve invited one of my best friends and her 2 kids to spend the Easter long weekend at our holiday house on the South Coast of NSW.  I rattled on for ageas about what fun things we’d be doing and how I’ve been madly buying little easter eggs and planning an Easter Egg Hunt for the 2 girls.

The Boyfriend nodded and agreed with everything I planned. Then he asked “So when the kids have finished, are they going to do an adult Easter hunt for us?” He went on to add, “Can you imagine how cool it would be to hunt through the back yard, suddenly screaming out, “YAY! I found a scotch and coke behind this tree!”

If it wasn’t such a brilliant idea I’d have laughed at him. Instead I’ve been trying to work out how to have an adult Easter Hunt without scarring the kids for life.

The Good, The Bad and The Ugly

The Good:

What a fantastic trip to Adelaide, even if it was over 41C (106F) yesterday. It’s all good, the boyfriend’s sister has a pool. We started our trip with a few days hanging out with The Boyfriend’s sister and her family. Their little 7 year old girl was particularly taken with me. Although it did seem a little like the spanish inquisition when I was asked in the space of a few minutes about whether I had been married before, why I wasn’t now, was I going to marry her Uncle and how many children we thought we might have. Yikes. Then she followed me to the bathroom, waiting outside the door until I’d done what I went there to do. That’s about when I knew I had a new fan.

The Barossa trip we had on Sunday was lots of fun. We left the kids in a box in the garage (of course we didn’t really, we farmed them out for the day) and hit the wineries. By the end of the day my sides hurt from laughing and the best tasting drink of the day was the cold beer at the end to wash away the winey taste.

Boyfriend and I headed off to McLaren Vale on Monday morning. We found ourselves to be all wined out, so we spent the afternoon sitting in a big double spa at the very luxurious B&B we were staying in for the night. The bed was THE most comfortable I have ever slept in. It was so good that I took a picture of the label, so I can go and buy one of those matteresses myself. If you’re ever after a nice place to stay in McLaren Vale? Head over here. The spa suite rocks.

The Bad:

An email in my inbox on my return to work this morning from my ex. Sending me the link to his latest favourite song. (The ex and I split in Feb last year, we don’t have any bad words to say to or about each other, he still lives in my house and I pay all his bills which does annoy me somewhat, but as we had not had an intimate relationship for 6 years I sadly said goodbye and have since moved on, very unexpectedly happy at last. Still, feelings of guilt make me feel bad on the odd occasion because I am so happy now and he… well, he isn’t, yet.) So that’s why I was listening earlier today to Harold Melvin & The Blue Notes – The Love I Lost. I read the lyrics for a minute or two before quickly shutting the browser window, since tears at my desk at work are not so cool. I’m sure it’s understandable why – these lyrics are a real kick in the guts!

I can remember planning
Building my whole world around you
And I can remember hoping
That you and I could make it on through
But something went wrong
We loved each other
We just couldn’t get along
Take a good look at me
I’m in misery, can’t you see

The love I lost (the love, the love I lost)
Was a sweet love (it was a sweet love)
The love I lost (the love, the love I lost)
Was complete love (it was complete love)
The love I lost (the love I lost)
I will never (never) no no never
(Never) love again ooh

I can’t remember nothing, no no
But the good times we used to share
I’m so sad and lonely
Without you my life is so dead
I’m sorry to say
You go your way and I’ll go my way
It hurts deep inside
The day we said goodbye, but

The love I lost (the love, the love I lost)
Was a sweet love (it was a sweet love)
The love I lost (the love, the love I lost)
Was complete love (it was complete love)
The love I lost ooh ooh
I will never (never) no no never
(Never) love again (I’ll never love again)
I will never (never) no no never
(Never) love again ooh ooh ooh ooh
I will never (never) no no never
(Never) love again

The love, the love I lost, ooh
The love, the love I lost

The Ugly:

Can’t think of any ugly. That’s I suppose another thing that should be listed as The Good.

On Leave

In 10 minutes I’m on holidays. I’ll be back mid next week with tales of the very strange city of Adelaide. The state of South Australia seems to be mainly famous for serial killers, mass murderers, and generally being a place of weirdos. On a positive note, the Barossa Valley right nearby is one of the best wine regions in the world…