On the weekend, I went to a wedding. Since it’s important for all women to be uncomfortable at these events, I wore a dress and strappy high heels.
A few days before the wedding I tried on the dress I planned to wear and asked The Boyfriend if it looked ok. He looked me over and said “You know what comes to mind when I see you in that dress?” I waited eagerly for his next statement. “A schoolma’am”.
So I wore a different dress. And, because I wasn’t a fan of the belly bulge that was a little too obvious under that dress, I bought a pair of old lady fat-holder-inner undergarments to wear underneath. I was talking to a girlfriend before I left, and told her I wasn’t sure how much fat they could be holding in, and perhaps I bought a size too big, because they felt too comfortable. We even joked about perhaps I had no fat to hold in. Oh I should never have mocked the fat-holder-inner-undergarments.
The wedding started at 1:30. By 1:22, I was texting the same friend with “Wedding has not yet started and I am already starting to rethink the fat holder inner undies and wondering if I can take them off in the loo”. Yeah, those things are evil, man.
Tags: Just Not Right, out and about, The Boyfriend
June 3, 2009 at 2:26 pm |
oh my! ..like one of those corset things? ouch!
June 3, 2009 at 6:50 pm |
Great post do they make those things for beer bellies?
June 4, 2009 at 1:24 am |
I hate both dresses and big underwear. Both are evil.
June 5, 2009 at 5:25 am |
I hate undergarments on ladies, period! Giggity giggity!
June 5, 2009 at 2:07 pm |
sashimi: more like a large spanx. Still ouch.
Brett: What do you think I was using it for? Duh!
Bobbie: Yes, we should all get around in no dresses OR undies.
Frank: See above, that should work.